Zeppelin said it best "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You"

A friend of mine sent me a text, "when are you going to change your relationship status to single?"...I responded with something about not wanting to answer questions and people being in my "business"...Then I really thought about it and asked myself why I'm so hesitant to declare my status to the world. Those of you who know me know that I am really about the least private person in the world. I mean I spent last Wednesday sobbing at my desk and dabbing at my eyes amidst texting and calling anyone who would listen to me cry silently into the phone. I have a blog, I have a Facebook, I have a Myspace, I have 2 emails, I have a cell phone of which I answer even when faced with stop and go traffic. Soooo to claim privacy is really bull....I just am not sure yet whether I feel single. Yes, I am living as the solo parent in my household and yes, I see that as my future but am not quite ready to hear from long lost high school friends who want to send me a frowny face and a solemn "I'm here for you" message when we haven't actually spoken in person since high school soooo.......That's it, for now The Other is finding himself and me and the kids are well, we're getting up in the morning and going to middle school and daycare and then coming home and eating dinner. I'm saying things like "two more bites of peas or no cookie", I'm hardcore. If its a hockey night we're eating dinner in 22 minutes (sidenote, once again, attention nation: where is the award show dedicated to those of us with this talent?? Will someone please commend me for fixing up a healthy balanced meal and getting 3 kids to eat it within 22 minutes! Eh, I'll pat myself on the back, all of you who do the same go ahead give yourself a pat you deserve it too) I then after those 22 minutes, attempt to wash some dishes while wiping off the baby while putting on the 3yr olds shoes while yelling at the 11 year old who despite telling me he's ready cannot find his water bottle. We then all get in the car and I find myself letting a brief sigh of relief escape. Mission almost accomplished. So uh yea, not much has changed except a lot. I was a single mom of one 5 years ago, then a single mom with an Other if you get my drift, now a single mom with 3. Oh my, an ocean is calling my name.

Crawling under the covers

So its been a hell of a week, year, century. I am preparing my brain for the future and my crystal ball is fuzzy. My magic 8ball is even unclear...on each side of the di I'm reading "I dunno". A friend of mine today told me she's been secretly flicking off her coworker every time she walks by this coworker's cube. Its a silent F.U. which makes me laugh, I care not how immature that sounds! I love it, just picturing her sneaking by the cube, her sweater almost catching on the faux carpet lined wall and snickering to herself, feeling so much better after having jammed two middle fingers in the air...kinda. Well that seems to be the sentiment I'm hearing lately. Everything from, "I'm seeing shadows" to "my back's been killing me"...I've got a long list of things to lament about but since I have tomorrow off of work...I think instead, I'll wake up late (that's 6am versus 5:30am) drink some delicious fresh ground coffee and dig into Anywhere But Here (a phenomenal book by Mona Simpson that I'm rereading) and then languish for a while in my robe. Wake the little ones up to take the big one to school, then somehow coordinate taking a shower while keeping tabs on the 3 and 1yr old (this is where my imagined military training comes in...special ops time man!) drop them off at daycare and take my mother to lunch for her birthday. We're going downtown! Whooo we've hit the big time ya'll! And after it all when it gets quiet, after all kids are in bed, I'm going to crawl under the covers and do what we women sometimes do, have a good hard cry. I'll probably drink a bottle of wine in there, but not under the covers...