Oh Whitesnake, you're preachin to the choir! I am goin' down the only road I've ever known...except I'm not.
Couples counseling? Return of the Other? Contemplation of family life is on the brain. It's been about a month without the Other and we're survivin'. He wants to go to counseling...hmmmm...I heard a statistic, which, yes I know, is just a statistic, it said something like 80% of married couples who go to counseling ultimately get divorced. Reason being; in counseling you rehash everything wrong with your marriage versus looking to the future and working on that...Me, I'm big on rehashing, analyzing, picking apart every little thing said, every gesture, every shrugged shoulder, every roll of eye...what's the problem here? I need to know what every insignificant tidbit means in order to get to the bottom of the issue que no? Hmmm so everyone (my mother, father, friends) suggests counseling...and maybe we do need counseling. There are definitely some major things the Other needs some help with, anger, depression, lack of ambition. Really though, how many fellas do you know who are out there searching for their inner self who don't wear a daishiki and aren't practicing tantric sex or something? (Sidenote: has anyone watched HBO's Real Sex? Why are they all filmed prior to 1994? And does every male sex therapist have to wear a turtle neck and a mood ring?) So the Other's got issues that need some work, but the big truth of it all...so do I. WHAAAA???? It's true. I can be a bit bossy...or so I've been told. I figured out that I have a huge ego and think I'm pretty perfect, yup I do. I also figured out that I've taken the Mama Bear thing a bit far...I've bitten and scratched and gnashed my teeth over everything in order to maintain control and in the meantime forgotten there's no "I" in team...oh wow, was that cheesy or what? Well I guess its true. Now the question, do I want to be a team player? I truly don't know. I've always wondered about this whole "need a man" thing. Do I need a man? Its actually been pretty damn great having the pad to myself. I put the kids to bed, I have a cocktail, paint my toes, and watch movies. I mean, yes, I do miss companionship (on Saturdays, not so much the rest of the week) okay enough joking, yes, I miss the guy. I miss the way he picks up the 1yr old and she puts her nose to his and they smile and giggle at each other. I miss the way he takes the boys in the basement for hours to hit foam hockey pucks while I actually accomplish something like cleaning the bathroom.....
So the Other and I are talking, trying to figure out our mojo and what we're gonna do with ourselves. Do we go to counseling? Do we get a joint checking account? Do I give up some control? Do I write up a list of chores for the household and truly run the house like a business? Eeeeewww, but maybe necessary. So that's what's whirling around in this brain o' mine...also some other mega important stuff like:
1) Watched Point Break last night. First, watched the last hour of the movie, then because they played it again, the first hour. RIP Patrick Swayze, you rocked some frosted tips and pleated pants like no other. Also, cannot look at Keanu Reeves without picturing Andy Samburg parodying him and his deadpan face(is parodying a word??). Hi-larious as my gal pal would say. Best line from Swayze's character to Jonnie Utah"You're a radical Son of a Bit*h"
2) Next year I'm donating the Halloween candy 24hrs immediately following the big day. Even the 1yr old is coming home screaming "canny canny canny"
3) I watched Sex In the City 2 (seeeee I get to watch these movies again! separation ain't all bad!), okay wow, over the top. I'm so sure, Dior T-shirts and Laboutin shoes to go to a market or whateva? A quick trip to Dubais to stay in a $22k/night hotel? Riiiight. I'm excited for Breezy Point sans little tikes in December! I will admit to at least 3 costume changes on the weekends though. I have a morning cooking breakfast look, a cleaning and I'm a bit warm now look, a post shower now running errands look and finally a, let me put on my drinkin' pants look...ha, laughing to myself.
4) Last, side ponytails do not belong on anyone who can legally vote. Really. I saw a woman around the age of we'll say 65 to give her the benefit of the doubt. Her makeup was done by the artists from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. She had on a red nylon jacket with gold buttons (of course), red high top Reeboks (fo real! Flo Rida is on that!), and a side pony with an oversized RED scrunchie! Yes, I said it, S C R U N C H I E. OH MY G.
