It's Been a Long Time Since I Rocked and Rolled...but I did.

Well well well, it has been a while since I've last written. Perhaps I'm building the anticipation, waiting for just the right moment to spring some newfound wisdom on ya'll...like a smack to the face, BAM! You're a changed person now. Okay, that sounds a bit introspective, something of my own expectations about day to day life. No, I don't want to be smacked in the face, I hear it makes your eyes water and also produces a very red cheek. Can you imagine someone slapping you in the face? I am doing it again. Imagining what I'm gonna do when someone does that to me, oh I'm gonna hawl off and smack that person back and then I'm gonna put my hand on my hip and then I'm gonna....wait wait wait, no one has smacked me! I do that, let myself exaggerate myself into actions that I probably would never do. If slapped I would probably stand there and then cry and in my head reenact what I should have done. By that time the slapper would be long gone, and me, the slappee, would be standing there red faced with only a story. Okay onto reality and off of my musings...I've been lost in the land of sickness and children and lack of sleep. Yes, I went to Chicago and then I was back like I never left. It was 60 hours of lusted after freedom that afforded me the grandeur of walking in Wicker Park, taking a picture with my leg up (kind of like the Captain Morgan commercials) on a fountain, and buying something ridiculously expensive at a boutique called Una Mae's (a delightful little place I must say). I've worn the item I purchased nearly every day. A black shawl/jacket sorta deal that falls just so around the hips and derrier. It can look tres chic with jeans or smooth and suave with black pants. I imagine at some point, when I'm feeling skinny, I'll slick my hair back Sade style and put on J-lo hoops. Perhaps I'll attend a play in it (ha, when invited to a play I usually come up with some sort of "oooo already have plans" excuse..but sadly I feel like since I'm artsy I should like plays, I don't, there its out there). The brand is called Gentle Fawn, so thanks to Gentle Fawn for creating one of the most versatile, comfortable, gorgeous items of clothing I've ever owned. It has no buttons and sleeves that get real tight at the wrist. Can you tell I love it? Love it like my own children. Ha ha, just joshin'. But being the fashion gal that I am, I really do keep looking at it to make sure my children don't rub goo all over it.

Chicago was amazing, good eats, too much cocktailin' (Saturday ended 7am Sunday) and Belgian beers. Dear makers of Bell's, you make a dang good beer, will you marry me? Matilde is the new one, 3 beers in one! Oh yes, why didn't I think of this? However, I'd take a reduction in calories because after drinking Belgians all summer I've noticed the "baby weight" (okay she's 15mos...not so much a newborn, but I'm not particular here) is stickin' around. I'm having to suck in when I button pants and every shirt I owned pre-child comes to my belly button. Love that look, I can see the headlines from my runway show now "Mom of three brings back the much awaited half shirt"...smattering of applause and I look in the audience and see my mom. Fade to black.......

Random thoughts:

1) 3yr old has picked up "FINE" as his favorite word as in, "FINE MOM, I'll take bath!" this is then followed by heavy stomping, he's 3, really? Really really?

2) Baby girl has been sick for days, I think she cried for 72hrs straight. At one point she was rolling back and forth while a steady "unnnnhhhh unnnnnh" cry escaped her wide open mouth.

3) I AM your superwoman (this is to the Other). I can make meat loaf, homemade gravy, mashed potatoes, and a veggie for dinner WHILE HOLDING A BABY on my hip. Oh yea baby, bring on the dads who can do that. I'm gonna have a THROWDOWN BOBBY FLAY STYLE! The challenge is on the table.

4) I can't not sleep for 24hrs and not expect to pay for it for at least a week. Yes, I'm STILL trying to catch up. (okay 10 hours straight of alcohol in there may play a small part in this)

5) I'm reading Geek Love, thank you "C" for gettin' that to me. I feel incredibly unbred that this book has been around since 1989 and I'm just now Googling the author to get all credible tidbits of info into her brain. I mean seriously a book about a family of circus freaks? A boy with fins, a set of Siamese twins who play the piano, an albino dwarf with a hunchback and a telekinetic kid? It might be single handedly the oddest book I've ever read, which makes it intriguing which means it's a book I read until my eyes can't focus anymore and I realize I once again am going to get less sleep than I intended. But dang, Geek Love, you make my brain twirl.

6) Last, the Other, I must share a positive, the kids were clean, happy, and fed upon my return. The house was a little tornadoed but that was to be expected. All in all, like I told him, this just means I can go when I need to. What a feeeeeeelllliiiiiinnn!

Blenders and shoes

So I spent the last week taking my son in for an accident with a blender, excuse me, a smoothie maker (side note people keep asking me if it's like the magic bullet, I say "no" only because I thought the magic bullet was some sort of sex toy!). He's attempting to make a smoothie, leaves the blade on the console of the machine, his elbow slips and the rest is all screaming, blood dripping down arm, rush to E.R. (well as "rush" as you can with a sick baby and a 3yr old). E.R. doc was awesome in the frat boy sense. He was 6'4", kinda good looking in the I still play basketball and down some brews with my buds Dad kinda way and very talkative and personable. I have to admit he was much more attractive after seeing us merely 15 minutes after our arrival. Has anyone ever gotten in and out of an ER in less than four hours? I went in while pregnant with my 1yr old diva because I could not keep any food down. I think I sat with a garbage between my legs for 3hrs in the waiting room. Then once moved into the actual E.R. I waited for another 45 minutes for someone to come in, it was the registration people not even the nurse. Once finally poked and prodded the doc orders me up a Zofran and sends me home. Total visit 5.5hrs, total time spent with actual hospital staff approximate 18 minutes, total cost after insurance, $370 big ones. Anyway I digress.

I'm reading Candy Girl by Diablo Cody (yes, I'm way late and uncool). My ridiculously supportive quasi mother in law (the Other and I are thankfully not betrothed) gave it to me in an unmarked envelope and told me not to tell anyone that she was the one who gave it to me. Love her so much. She cracks me up. Now that I'm into the book I get why. This is definitely not something the ladies at book club would discuss. Hey anyone, ever been to Sex World? How about Dreamgirls? What did you think about Diablo Cody letting a girl suck on her......well you get the picture. I dare someone to come up with some literary questions for me to contemplate this Candy Girl....

Other than the my son's battle with the smoothie maker, I spent a good 20 hours trying to find shoes for my daughter. Not shoes with sparkles, bows, and slick black bottoms that are one step away from "I'm waitin' on my check from my baby daddy". Shoes for a one year old that don't slip when she walks and actually bend as in, baby walking here! Tell me why a 1yr old would need platform sandals? Anyone?