Summertime and livin's easy.....

Oh thank you good sun. You lift my spirits and make the world sparkle. I dig the heat. 120 heat index...whoo hooo bring out the tubetops! Welll we all know I haven't worn a tube top except for that sleepover where I pushed one on my head to make the girls laugh but that's way back when when I had aspirations of becoming a comedian (still workin' on it as you may be able to tell). Side note, yes, I blog as if I'm talking directly to someone...this of course is my loyal group of followers who make my heart swell with pride. And dear follower #5 who can't seem to figure out how to become an actual follower, please just get a T-shirt with my picture on it and my blog address, a few bumper stickers, twitter it...that should do it. (who is twittering? I haven't even figured out where to look! between having 3 email addresses and facebook and work and a home computer and a cell phone, and a blog, do I really need a twitter...i imagine I would tweet things like "guy just cut me off and now I'm pissed")

Back to summer. Backyard swimming pools. Oberon (thank you Bell's....I looooveeee youuuuu) and my new face Magic Hat Circus Boy (which is a nice light Hefeweizen). Grill food. Nearly every item I purchase at the grocery store is followed by the thought "I wonder if this would be good on the grill?"...Whitefish? Grill it? Zucchini? Grill it? I think yes. So that's my plan, to grill 100% of meals and eat off of paper plates i.e. no dishwasher or stove and unwittingly the Other does 90% of the cookin'...uh oh, does this mean he gets to complain about working all day and then standing over a hot grill? Of course not, that would be fostering some sense of equality as if he gets to complain about what I get to complain about...pssssh. Which brings me to something that makes me chuckle, just the other day he complained about being sunburnt after sitting out for 4-5 hours without a shirt on...I had to remind him that unlike me, he's caucasian.

Anyway really now, back to summer, I just looove this time of year. Windows down and blasting Black Keys Chulahoma...oh man, I'm gettin' that feeling. Anyway, its coming upon August very quickly and I'm trying to shove as many summer time activities into each day as possible. And because of this I've managed to wrangle a girl's weekend at the Cabin. I capitalize this because for me, this is the equivalent of oh, say, a weekend in Florence, Italy. I mean really, to go to the Cabin for FOUR WHOLE DAYS. To shower without little toddler hands pulling back the curtain and pointing and asking "what's that?"...to get up and have a cup of coffee and then...sit. I cannot fathom the freedom the alone time the People magazine (dated March 2011) that will finally get read. Oh I'm a simple gal is right.

Hmmm what else, got a new(er) ride and boy does it ride. RIP 2004 Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo, you and your 12 miles to the gallon will be missed. So now, I drive a hog with a 3rd row seat and like the Other pointed out, "we can barely hear the kids, this is totally worth it"...so summer time brought me the luck of trading in my vehicle (which you should look into due to the large increase in values in the used car market, my vehicle increased a little over $1500 in value in one year...that's right, increased). Anyway there's my tip o' the day.

I have watched a couple of movies and read some gooood stuff and been introduced to some new music...all good and wonderful things which brings me to a review.

The Lincoln Lawyer: Matthew McConaheeeeeey, how you doin? Okay, him, with slicked back hair and a suit. I can dig it. The movie was eh...so so...entertaining enough but what stuck out was the music. Dear soundtrack dude or dudette...nice job. Citizen Cope, 107 degrees. Hot hot hot. I want to hear him sing while I lay on a hammock with my eyes closed.....okay, Citizen Cope/Ray LaMontagne sandwich. Done.

The Space Between Us, written by Thrity Umrigar. Fantastic wonderful thick with culture book. I could smell the spices of Bombay and hear the cabs honking and feel the energy. I could smell the slums and feel the main characters creaking bones. It was that good. A story of two women, one a servant, the other her mistress. Nuff said.

More to come I promise...just a sweet taste of Kaellandsummertimefun.

The Go Getter and other such leanings

I'm a bad blogger. Its been quite some time since my last post and it ain't because I got nuthin' to say. It's because I've had too much to say and the more filled the mind the less I entertain all of these wonderful outlets. I think the last time I took time to write in my diary it was midnight on a Wednesday in winter...so not too long ago (this is a weather joke for you Minnesotans who are JUST NOW getting a taste of summer). The weather, the bain of my existence. It has rained more than I can remember. Of course I did spend my elementary years in San Francisco which my mom claims was a gloomy town of rain and fifty degree weather. I, on the other hand, remember it as sunny and with an ocean and lovely men in fishnets. (the other has heard me b*tch about not seeing the ocean for some time now)...I do believe I'm deprived...and yet another angle to explore. I need to blog more. This wouldn't be so scattered...ooooh time to blog.

Here's my list of recent happenings: I have a pre-teen at home (this is mind blowing for me and still extremely odd to digest)...let me say it again, my name is Kael and I have a pre-teen at home. This means many firsts for me (which hasn't happened since my early teens...ha another pun, I am on today): first of the firsts...discussions about sex and all that comes along with that. Being that I "dated" my oldest son's biological father from a Saturday to the next Saturday I'm reallllly struggling with the whole "sex equals two committed people in love" angle, but I'm goin' with it, update on that later...also a first, how far should he be allowed to ride his bike, if it were up to me this would be calculated in terms of the mapping of sexual predators in Bloomington Minnesota, then we'd have to come up with an allowable radius (32 miles) which leads me to "can't ya just hang around the yard???"...I'm working on this and I've stopped watching Beth Holloway's "Vanished" because, well...that's probably obvious. So much more to discuss on the preteen angle but I can't focus the entire post to him.

Soooo what else, ah, lil' diva two year old who is sprouting teeth and losing sleep, an aging father prepping for hip replacement (which fills me with a terrifying feeling of potential loss and slaps me in the face with the realization that I am sorely unprepared to deal with my parents aging and then.....) and then there's the usual...(cue the Dolly Parton please) workin' 9 to 5...what a way to make a livin' is right. The Other, too convoluted to even start...more to come I promise eager followers!

And the most important stuff, reviews of high art, culture, literature, movies....geez I hate musicals there I put it in print. DON'T INVITE ME TO MUSICALS or PLAYS, I won't feel bad I promise...okay the books and movies...oh there are some good ones.

1) 127 Hours. Do you want to spend some time staring at James Franco? I did (and still do). He is gooood. The story, well its the whole hiker who cut his arm off...need I say more to draw you in? The scenes are breathtaking. The music is groovy oh, did I happen to mention that James Franco is the star? A great film.

2) Kill the Irishman, starring a guy I've never seen (but he's good and gritty!), Christopher Walken, Vincent D'Onofrio (who I crushed on for a good couple of years until the whole Law & Order Criminal Intent role where he became the guy I used to love from Mystic Pizza) and there are others. Ok, I've been watching gangster films since I was allowed to go rent VHS tapes alone (this would be 11ish) loooove them (except for the ones put out by recent rappers, please stop, you're just hurting yourself). I would get one UFC tape and one gangster film and if I was lucky, a Charleston Chew...strawberry. (the insight into my psyche is amazing is it not?)

3) The Go-Getter, starring a guy I have seen in a movie called Thumbsucker. He was THE indie film guy before Michael Cera. Also in it, a favorite since Bastard Out of Carolina, Jena Malone. She is so good in everything, so underrated. I appreciate her choice in films. Anyway I LOVED this movie for some reason, well the reason isn't hidden, the music, THE BLACK KEYS! Are you as shocked as I was? The Other and I are about ten to fifteen minutes in and I hear a familiar riff. I literally push him against the couch with my right arm (as if we were stopping in a car suddenly, you know the whole I'll protect you not that unreliable seat belt!) while fiercely shushing his incessant verbal subtitles that he produces through EVERY movie. Anyway I realize its The Black Keys, collect the bits of my mind off of the floor and jam out real quick. I'm such a teenage boy. I love the guitar and it loves me. Ooooh wait this is a movie review. Its good and I didn't get to finish it (lack of sleep makes for bad Sunday night movie completion ratio). A glimpse...teenage boy's mother dies, he steals a car and heads off to find his long lost 1/2 brother who is half Mexican (he isn't so this is of course fodder for many one liners). My favorite line (so far) "Do you think people create bands to make the rest of us feel like crap?"... hilarious.

4) My one and only book review: UNBROKEN by Laura Hillenbrand (she also wrote Seabuscuit). Go get it. Louis Zamperini is my new hero (aside from my mother and father who had the zeal to bring me in the world). Mr. Zamperini was an airforce pilot in WWII, shot down and survived in a little ol' raft for 47 (48?) days, either way I think I'd last two days before giving myself to the sharks. I can't go two days without a Coke from McDonald's. Then because that's not enough of a human feat of amazement, he survives 4 years in a Japanese POW camp. So I hate to say this but not only was the book incredibly entertaining it also filled me up with new facts from our recent past (yes, WWII is recent in my opinion). The book is amazing.

5) Thank you to my friend who gets me new music. You feed my soul. You know who you are.

This blog is too long! Hope ya dig the recap....

Time Does Not Fly

Two whole months since my last blog! My gal pal reminded me that I hadn't blogged since Valentine's Day. I was actually doing the whole "if you don't have anything nice to say" thing. I really didn't. I had many things to complain about, strep throat, bronchitis, flu, lack of ambition, gray ice masking every surface my vision covered. Sounds like a fun read huh? Okay on with the updates for my gal pal.... Well, the Other is back (this is where my friends all boo and hiss and heckle me to get off the stage). As a self professed voyeur my assessment is he seems to be forcing down his real self and grasping at a phantom self and I must say, I AM DIGGIN' IT! He doesn't just rinse the dinner plate off and set it next to the sink; he has taken to rinsing all of the dinner dishes and placing them into the dishwasher. (Moment of silence for this momentous occasion) So moral of the story, does the Other like being somewhat domestic? We all know the answer to that. Does it matter if he's seething inside...I guess, but for now, I'm just happy that I now have time to actually say hello to my children versus running around like Rosie the Robot (this dates me now, someone figure out this reference..." a place for everything and everything in its place"....oh Jetson's your outfits were soooo cool and futuristic) Update on niceness. So I took a little look inside as I do every now and then (daily). I thought to myself, what's one thing I can do more of. It doesn't have to be big, but I'd like to be nicer to strangers. An easy experiment. So my way of doing this has been to hold the door open for people who are much further away from me. I've expanded my door holding from say five yards to 15 yards. If I was a true sociologist this would be my term paper. Seriously. You would not believe the response! I held the door for a gentleman at the U of M and his response was "see there are still good people out there" and he thanked me three times. For holding the door open. Is that all it takes??? It made me happy and sad. Happy that I held the door and restored this guy's faith in the human race and sad that people aren't holding doors for people. So I've done this maybe 10 times in the past couple of weeks and each time have gotten extremely kind and friendly responses, most of them centering around "hey, thanks very much! you didn't have to do that". I wonder what would happen if most of my interactions were like this. Hmmmm project is still in motion, be on the lookout for more keen insight into the human psyche from myself, a completely unlicensed self proclaimed analytical everyday human. Movie Review: Due Date OH MY G. Zack Galifinakis (sp? sorry, don't feel like Googling for his correct spelling, isn't that terrible? oh well I held the door folks!)...anyway that guy with a perm and a stage name. Robert Downey Jr. in, well in L.A. I'm so handsome attire. Lots and lots of "F" bombs. Juliette Lewis as a pot dealer. I love her. I've loved her ever since she was the Mallory to Mickey. Her part did not last long enough at all. The movie, well it was Planes Trains and Automobiles amped up to the 100th degree. Add enough "F" words to make Richard Pryor blush and a masturbation scene that made me get up and leave the room. I'm a prude. It was weird. That's really all I got on it. It ended and I thought, well, thankfully it was only a dollar. And then I thought, dammit, $1.o7. If it had been the dollar I would have been fine, but to be taxed on it, well I never! It was one of those movies where when I laughed I felt guilty. Until next time peoples. Bring on the sunshine!

The Big V Day

I think I may really dislike Valentine's Day. I dislike the expectations that I should buy candy and items that will rot my children's teeth and stick to my carpet. I dislike the mounting pressure that simmers beneath the surface when you're asked "whatcha doin' for Valentine's Day". If I actually answered with what has happened the answers would go as follows: 2009 after making dinner and cleaning the kitchen I then made a second dinner of filet mignon and cleaned the kitchen for a second time. I think I was done cleaning right around 11pm and by 11:30 was asleep on the couch. The gift that year, I think I got a card that had a joke about putting up with the Other, the picture on the front is of a guy falling off of the couch and snoring. Nothing says romance like laziness and a card that says "hey I am completely aware that I'm lazy, but I got you this card sooooo...." 2010 received a gift certificate for a spa, this would have been a completely unexpected thoughtful gift had I not witnessed it being handed to the Other by his mother. I thanked HER profusely. This year, well this year I spent it solo. The Other is off finding hisself in the southern suburbs of Minnesota. I ate dinner with the 3 munchkins, forced them to bed early and finished watching Jungle Fever. This brings me to the important stuff...movie reviews!

1) Inception: I figured it out pretty quickly; I'm not bragging or trying to show how intelligent I can be while watching film. It was entertaining. I'm not a big science fiction film person but I liked the concept. I liked the actors. Also, I need to keep up on Leo's career in case this whole thing with Bar Rafaeli doesn't work out and he happens to be at the Cub in Bloomington Minnesota and he happens to say "hey, can you reach that orange juice" I would say something like "oh, you like Simply Orange too" He would respond with something that would bring us closer and then we're married and I'm not blogging about Valentine's Day any more because I'm living in LA part time and the other part we'll go with Italy. Yes, Italy. They need more strong women over there to protest that prime minister!

2) The Kids are Alright: I LOVED it. Maybe I loved the sunny streets of California, Julianne Moore in cool T-shirts and specifically Mark Ruffalo. Oh Mark- if you're reading this, and you happen to become follower #5, can we get coffee? Anyway, can I meet a guy who likes organic farming, drives a motorcycle, likes children, lives in California, has Petit Syrahs in his cabinet in his cool green house with a cool garden and runs a restaurant? (oh why trade that when you can have a guy who drapes over a couch and once a year gets you a card to remind you of how well he drapes over that couch?) The Kids are Alright, yes, they are. Go see it.

3) Black Swan- well well well, Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis (I'd date her and I'm not gay, just sayin', she's done with Macauly Caulkin, might as well check out the territory) anyway, Barbara Hershey, ballet, dark ominous music, a bit of self mutilation, freaky images, subways, New Yorkish gritty feel. Very arthouse. I imagine Andy Warhol and his buddies were the real deal and this movie is a more entertaining version of the insanity behind being THE ballerina of the minute. Did I mention Winona Ryder, whooo she does not look great with a 95 haircut.

Cool It Baby, You've Got Time

For some reason I'm feeling a sense of urgency. I need to make decisions and make 'em fast. Long term decisions like will my daughter go to Harvard or Yale. Will she be on the rowing team or the chess team? Will my middle son get a full ride to Shadduck (sp?) and if so would I retire early to watch him play year round? My oldest, he's right around a B- average, do I get him a full time tutor (i.e. me? where will the time come from? I have about 6 and 1/2 seconds of free time a night). So many huge things in my mind. I feel the things I say to my oldest will shape his attitude for the rest of his life, a B MINUS? WHAT? Did Bill Gates get B minuses? I don't think so buddy!! And the reason his grade average slipped so low, C- in BAND and C- in some sort of class about health and well being. He gets A's in Science and Math and I'm just about to pull my hair out because he doesn't feel like practicing the dang trombone. He told me his music teacher put on Lil' Wayne during free time and then he proceeded to rap it out to me, complete with the missing parts where swear words and the "N" word would be. I felt like smacking him and saying, don't you know that if I was Chinese you would be doing nothing but practicing that trombone EVERY NIGHT. Instead I said something like "see your band teacher is cool! Why don't you participate???" This leads me to the article "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior"...now let's be honest, superiority in itself is subjective, which leads me to all kinds of other thoughts. I basically share the article title so you parents out there can take a look. I found it incredibly interesting and took it with a grain of salt. No, I don't plan on berating my child and telling them they're garbage if they get B's. However, I admit, deep deep down, I am cursing with rage and do expect A pluses, there, I've shared my inner truth.

Next: watched a great PBS documentary on Jeff Bridges. Why do I pay so much for cable?

Next: Watched an even better documentary (maybe not better but absolutely bar none, more important, life changing, riveting) called Every F___ing Day of My Life. It is a must see. If only because you share the notion that I did prior to watching that abused women can just call the police. That is what I thought, a man punches you in the face, you wallop him with a frying pan or what not and then call the cops man! Well this is a stark look at reality and that calling the police may not be a reality for some people. Not when you're front yard is rigged with cameras that can show your lips mouthing "HELP ME" to an officer. Anyway, please please please watch it. Its on Youtube in 10 minute vignettes.

Next: the Other said the "N" word. Its been a while since I've had to deal with anything racial and let alone deal with it with my own partner. I've always felt mixed, biracial; I've always checked the box "Other" for my ethnicity because there is no box for a little Mexican, a little French, a little German, 1/2 Finnish, and the rest Black. However, I never felt more black in my life then when I heard my full caucasian partner utter that word. It felt like someone punched me in the stomach. No, he wasn't talking about me. (or was he??) No he wasn't directing it at me. (or was he??) Well that's what it felt like. I can't seem to get past it. Yes, he's apologized. And because apologies are scarce with Other, I can take it to heart but for the first time, it's not enough and I can't get past it. I want to scream in his face YOUR CHILDREN ARE N*GGERS! I AM A N*GGER. So its a tough one. I've been meditating. Speaking to God. Calling to Buddha. Allah, anyone, any entity, any being. I need some help on this people. I have a family to keep together.

And finally, speaking of family. My oldest son's biological father has popped up. Its been 11 plus years and the ol' change of heart has happened. Can you say what the??!!!?!?!?!??!?! He wants to see "his son" as he says. Hmmmm "his son"...I find that intriguing since they are actually less connected than say, me and the guy I say "hey" to when I go get gas at the Holiday up the street. The Other is not taking it well, as you can guess by the whole N word thing. (is the story coming together? I'm a bit scattered, so sorry). So what do I do? Do we meet at a mall and sit and stare at each other with the only sound being me sucking down a strawberry julius? Do I tell him to come to a hockey game and risk the Other taking his rage out on the guy? So far I've employed the ignore it method.

That's all I got...oh oh oh, I'm reading The Late Homecomer, i'm into more to come

Its Cold and I'm sick of it

Freshly fallen snow right before the holidays makes for great picturesque Christmas cards. Snow post Christmas incites a litany of swear words for me. I am tired of stepping outside holding my daughter and navigating the ice so I don't drop us both on our heads. I'm tired of shaking snow off of my pant legs. Although I deeply love my new Uggs, I miss flip flops. Will I head to Florida with the rest of the snowbirds? Nope, Stillwater it is. Hockey game 9:15pm. NINE FIFTEEN PM. At 9:15pm on a Friday I should be staring at the TV while sipping the 2008 petit verdot I've held onto since Christmas day, (I mention this because holding onto wine really ain't my thang). I originally planned to hit the red box and lose myself in Eat Pray Love to see what the fuss is about and to see James Franco. Oh James, I heart you. Did any of ya'll see him in drag for Candy magazine?? WOWZA. Anyway back to the reasons I distrust winter...it makes cars do funny things. For instance when I go over a speed bump my shocks sound like I rolled over a giant Funyon. I can't get my car washed because I hate washing my car before snow/rain/ice storm and one of those things seems to be ALWAYS happening. UGH, winter, you've got me by the cajones and I can't stand it.

Hmm, so I've been thinking of sending a friend of mine a message on FB and then I thought, I should call. I haven't broken a friendship since my days at William R DeAvila in San Francisco. My pal LaRae thought it would be funny to pull my Cabbage Patch doll's hair (mmm hmmm, she did have the nerve!). Yea, that stunt pretty much cost her my lifelong friendship sooo really, its gotta be big. I have a pal I've known for (I just counted in my head and its freaking me out) twenty years! However, for the past year, she has had one ailment or another whenever invited to do something. She's cancelled, via text no less, to the past I guess its 6 gatherings she's been invited to. The most recent set me over the edge and it being the new year, the new year of no b.s. I figure eh, I've had it, I'm done. This brings me to a question, do friendships run their course? Perhaps she and I have just drifted so far into each other's own lands that we're just not friends anymore. I guess I'm not mad, confused yes, but not mad. I'm confused, because who wouldn't want to hang out with me right?? Riiiiiight???

So new things I'm noticing:

1) Could you buy Xmas presents people don't want, they go back and return them and because of all the sales turn their one gift into many??? Hmmm I'm pondering this.

2) The 3yr old started preschool, I asked him about his day, his response "moooom, we can talk about this at bedtime"

3) Thank you North Face for providing me a warm, unbulky, lightweight jacket. You're the best, now I've got to find a mountain to climb.

4) I no longer accept this: "that's just how men are" (insert anything in place of "men")


5) Need a girls night RIGHT NOW!

6) Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. She is stanky blues to the core with a bit of rock and roll and i love her. I love her before she got Gwyneth Paltrow's hair that she has now. She can sing me to sleep or sing me to dance any night of the week.

7) Okay, PioneerWomanCooks, have you not gotten on the website yet?? My word, made another of her homecookin' recipes aptly names Comfort Meatballs with mashed potatoes. Winter, comfort meatballs, I smell happiness..................