The Unknown Unknowns

I was reading an article today that basically discussed proposed and discussed the idea that if you're stupid, do you know you're stupid? This logic extends to if you're a bad parent, would you know you're a bad parent? If you're the kind of person who uses "to" when it should be "too"...do you know how insane that makes me? Oh wait, didn't mean to get personal. Okay but this got me thinking, truly contemplating this whole woman/man relationship thing. Obviously my relationship is drama filled, enough to be fodder for many therapy sessions. I have enough material that I could have been Oprah's only guest her entire TV career; I digress. Anyway the Other has been upset for 3 years over pictures. Not just any pictures, but specifically pictures of ex boyfriends that I have in various photo albums. I chalked up his behavior as pure madness and have stood my ground and not removed the pictures, boxed them up, or burned them in a ceremony as he wished. I basically looked at it from my point of view which is, I could care less if he still has photos of ex girlfriends because (this is my head talking) I know who I am! I am the greatest girlfriend he's ever had or gonna have so who cares about his past nothings. I then used my thoughts and opinions and pressed them onto him. A sort of, if I feel this way, so should you, actually so WILL you. If not, a shrug of shoulders and let you suffer.

And the pictures remained. In drawers, in photo albums, on shelves. Under his eyelids.

He told me last night "you haven't heard me for 3 years". First reaction was this guy is nuts! I'm THE best listener ever. Then a little something crept in and all of a sudden I thought, maybe I haven't listened. (this is where the stage goes black and the spotlight shines on me)...I, for once, feel I might have been wrong. (collective gasp of shock from audience). I, the staunch Libra, was wrong. I have asked him probably four thousand times to look at it from my point of view, walk in my shoes, see through my eyes....and if he can't do that then just do whatever I'm asking him to do because I asked. Really. I have expected this from him the entire time and seen no problem with it. It's almost a trumped up version of my 3yr olds demanding "because I want it" but in my mind its been justified because I work my a** off and I do this and I do that so just do for me!

I don't want anogsonosia people! I am revolting against the unknown unkowns! My mind feels open and breezy and just ready for more growth.

A man at a restaurant in Hayward, Wisconsin (Norske Nook...mmmm is hollandaise on the food pyramid?)...was on the receiving end of my baby girl's smiles and cooing. She just couldn't stop turning around in her high chair to stare at this man and his wife/girlfriend/friend. They smiled and played along as patrons at public places sometimes do (vs. hissing and making cat pawing motions like some non kid friendly folks) ...after a while he says to me out of the blue. I don't have this exact but something like "I've been working on brain scans of men and women who are right or left handed and comparing their brain functions". Both left handed men and women use both sides of the brain; he continues (I swear he paused for effect as he watched me shovel hollandaise covered lefse into my mouth with my left hand) "left handed men use mostly the right side of the brain and will switch and use their left side when needed, we found that women who are left handed utilize both sides of their brain almost simultaneously basically using the most of the brain of anyone either right or left handed". I responded with something like "thank you for validating my entire life". I do know when I'm stupid!

GTL? More like Just "L"

So wrapping up a roller coaster week of life in the suburbs...my man's not leaving me anymore. See how fast that goes? Blink and you'll miss the breakups! He apparently has "too much invested in this"...me? Yeah, I guess I do too, I mean I birthed some kids and clean and work all day. Yup, I gotta a lotta (wo)man hours in, too many to hang up my boots...So my 3yr old has turned into a lil Napolean. Did I mention how I came home and Other had shaved his head??? Without MY prior approval? I almost screamed. All he was missing was lil black laced up Doc Martens and a faux miliatry jacket..Remy anyone? Do questions via blog make sense?

Onto a weekend of laundry, reading People and carting the children around. I think I'll wear tank tops, aviators and a lot of lip gloss too. I've got a great wheat beer in the car. I think I'll drink all six of 'em. Whooo just like college! Then I'll do 10 spider man push ups and feel buff.

I told a pal that I'd started a blog, he said "oh good, now other bored people can read about how bored you are".

Thoughts The Tuesday After It All

My lil' girl wore her first over the top frilly white dress for her birthday party. She shoved an entire piece of cake into her mouth and promptly used both hands to run thick gobs of frosting through her hair. Hmmm cake frosting, oil spill...do I smell a quick cheap fix? We also celebrated Father's Day. My wonderful father sipped silver tequila and watched the ball game with the men, ate guacamole and told me it was the best Father's Day he's had. Que bueno!

My significant other....well that title doesn't really fit, my Other, stayed up until 4am the previous night and wasn't quite in the party mood. I've tried to explain to him that young children don't care when you stay up too late, drink too much, and feel like getting up at noon. So he brooded the whole day and then did it all again the next night. Having an adult child is just not that much fun.

Yesterday he told me he's leaving me. My response "when exactly?". He didn't answer. Dang it. Someone told me that if the relationship makes it 5yrs you're pretty much in there for the long haul. We are just about 4yrs in and I am drowning. I think I'm just meant to be single. Someone also once told me that men are good for three things and two of those are money. The Other is unemployed.

Last but not least, watched one of my fave shows, The City. Of course I'm way behind because 3 kids has somewhat affected my ability to catch more than 10 minutes of television here and there. Anyway, all I have to say is, yellow harem pants? Really? What's next Zubaz?

Another year, already???!!! Exclamation!

Whew what a day of paper shuffling! It took me all morning to decide whether or not I'd have a salad for lunch. Literally all morning. I decided on potstickers and sesame chicken. No, I don't feel guilty, although, I am still hungry. I'll ponder this tomorrow morning. Well I'm on the precipice of my daughter's 1st birthday. Somewhat a double edge sword of happiness and the blahs. I mean wow, the first year is over and now onto the next phase of potty training, saying "no" over and over and over and watching her sprout teeth and an attitude. I've put away the wretched (although life saving) pump. No longer do I have to spend 15 minutes every 3 hours trying to remember cascading waterfalls to feed my lil' girl. I don't have to tolerate the stares of the athletes wondering why this woman comes into the women's bathroom in the gym sans workout gear and carrying a suspicious black case. Aaaaah I will miss planning what I would do if I ran out of batteries and would have to hook myself to the wall and then the maintenance guy comes in and I'm sitting there with my bra around my neck trying to frantically shove my boobs somewhere. What will I plan now?

My significant other slept on the living room floor last night, versus in our bed. This would be okay had we been in a normal fight however, we weren't, at least not that I know of. I asked him why he was sleeping on the floor in the middle of the living room and he answered "it's safer"...hmmmm my mind is reeling. Is he afraid he'll axe me in the night because I've told him over over how much I don't like him? Or is it because he drank too much and the floor is just closer to the floor? Must figure this out!

Mom goes to a concert alone! Applause please.

Living in the land of Kael has me confused. 5th grade graduations, little ones with ear infections and a toddler whose favorite phrase is STOP IT and partying like I'm single until 2am. I went to The Black Keys concert this past week and have decided to First: sell all my belongings and send Visa a note with a picture of my middle finger Second: Use the proceeds of this great garage sale to buy an orange Volkswagon bus type thing Third: because I'm a safety freak when it comes to the kids, outfit the van with indestructible car seats which will really piss off the 10 soon-to-be 11yr old Fourth: leave a message with the office that No, I didn't win the lottery but please hold my job while I take the kids and follow The Black Keys around to perfect my ability to bob my head HARD and air guitar at the same time. Okay long runon sentence. I started a blog...whooo hoooo, something to feed my ego which has since the beginning of time encouraged me to write all my deepest darkest secrets on "paper" for the world to see. Well now its out there, here. How exciting I'm the one billionth link when you google "moms starved for alone time". Last but not least the family and I went to Wisconsin this weekend. It was 62 and rainy. Thanks Midwest June.